Change.

Is good sometimes,

Is good most of the time,

Even when it's a good thing sometimes it freaks me out.

Even if I am excited about it and want it, it still makes me nervous!

We will see what happens

but for now I'm going with it because it is good. (& hilarious, weird, kind, shy, considerate, unselfish, amazing testimony, & legitimately, entertainingly different)

Legitimately.

It is crazy how things change in a moment

Life is serisouly so unpredictable

you think you have it all figured out

and it does a complete 180

I'm definitely taking things slow. way slow.

we will see.

But all I can do is just to laugh, because it is so out of left field!

It's exciting. but still more scary. (& nervouse, anxious, guarded, weary, scared out of my mind, worried, excited, unsure, twitter-pated, careful)

but still exciting.

Who wouldve thought...

The Lord works in ways I will never understand. Everything happens for a reason though right?

(Thank you blizzard, I guess)

Excited for:

Next semester, school!

Christmas

Giving Gifts

Being with Family

Yummy Festive Treats

Seeing my Poppa Joe

Friendship

The Delta Saints - Momma (live)

Dear Ke$ha,

You're kind of a ho,
but I might secretly love to hate you (h8 u as you would probably spell it, barf)
Sometimes I feel bad for the example you set for today's youth
because if they do anything you sing about, it will be a sad generation.
In all my attempts to (h8) you
I simply just can't resist
because even though you're a terrible role model
& most likely don't have anything to do with your own music
besides lip syncing it when the occasion calls,
your songs are unfairly catchy & strangely awesome.
So, I will proceed blasting We R Who We R at an embarrassingly high volume while driving
all the while singing every word so the person next to me laughs when they glance over.
Thanks for the entertainment.
Get it Girl.

Life in the Present.

Hi.

Around Thanksgiving I always get really antsy to get to Boise, and miss my family really bad. I think my internal clock knows I will see them soon, and says, excuse me I want my home this instant.

I need to save my money, I am going to school. I am really excited for a new notebook with dividers for each class, for 3 hour art classes and projects that will help me develop into a better artist, for big lecture classes, for walking to campus in the snow with my coat and hat and gloves, for holga-ing the frosty trees on my way to class, for studying in the library, for seeing my friends on campus, for new institute classes (joseph smith history please? book of mormon? world religions? ps. registration is now open so you should all sign up for a class, nothing brings the spirit more then learning about it.) for all that I learned on my time off and getting the opportunity to better myself and gain knowledge and to achieve my goals. nerdy? yes. Am I still excited? no doubt!

I love Dutch apple pie. My friend the Bulgarian missionary served with a dutch man and now makes the best apple pie i have ever eaten. I got it yesterday and its about 5 bites from gone. It has made such an impact that yes I am blogging about it. You would understand if you tried it, don't judge.

Something I learned this weekend. Sometimes you get into situations where you are uncomfortable. You have two choices, be uncomfortable and awkward then feel weird about it and let it haunt you, or rise above it and be kind & understanding. Make the choice to be positive, and be you. Take the high road and situations are 100% better then letting things control you, instead of you controlling them.

Vanilla Bean Noel room scent arrived at B&BW (FINALLY!!) is nectar from the Gods. Pure joy whenever I enter my room. Also, hand soap for the bathroom. It might be my JOY.

Getting my hair cut. 2 weeks. Don't know exactly what I want yet. darker for sure. but that's it. not short. but i'm sure it will get hacked off and all my hard work for the last year will be in vain.

Ps. I ended up getting this sweater instead. 15 bucks compare to 80 for the other (that fits me too short and a little weirdly) I am happy with my purchase. It is heavenly soft.

Thankful for:

Being warm at night.

Friendship

Ward Council Meetings

New music

Holiday Cheer

Dad coming home from Iraq in less then a month!

Being with fam and old friends " " " "

Residing in Logan, UT.

Preach My Gospel & BOM.

Spiced Chai Tea before bed

A patient Heavenly Father who never gets tired of blessing me.

This Saturday, Nov. 13

Once upon a time I was going to head down to LA with my girl Lori & see Stars.

Then something happened called I have a job that only decides to schedule me at the worst opportune moments possible.

Also, I have a sneaky suspicion that American Eagle decided they needed to have a giant sale and have all the employees work it on the weekend that would be the most beneficial for me to do anything else then stay in Logan.

Boo Hoo.

Welp, here it is Folks. Come and make my 10 - 6 shift on Saturday less depressing since I am in fact working and not soaking up the 80 degree weather in Cali.

Mention my name to the cashier and save 20% off anything in the store! It's called Friends & Family day & it is One day only. This freaking Saturday. Let's be excited about it since there's no way out of it.

Yay!

The good thing about it is that I will most likely be drowning my sorrows by purchasing this little darling to help me cope with the heavy burden of missing a highly anticipated H&M shopping event. ( optimism! )

This will definitely perk things up a bit!

Looking forward to Thanksgiving Break with 1,2,3,4! long much needed days in Boise with the friends and family! Can you believe it's been 7 months already? Time flies.

Happy rest of the week!

Pictures & Progress

::First and foremost I would like to address something from my last post.

Talking to my mom this morning she says, "Chels your blog was really great, it was about your last boyfriend, right?" And I strongly disagreed slash was embarrassed it could be mistakenly taken that way. "Im not that pathetic Mom.." (Since It was about my friend who I have pretty much liked since a while but.. got in the friend zone status I feel. since that is less pathetic right?) But the point is, it wasn't.. So if that's what you thought too, reread it with a different view. Thanks, That's all::

Not a lot of people know that I help out Levi Sim with SDesign Photography in my free time whenever he needs an assistant, (aka holding the flash screens and trying to memorize his techniques). He is an amazing photographer and so incredibly intelligent and talented. Seriously, he's a camera genius. Anyways, He actually posted some pictures I took (!) one day while practicing with him. Here they are, let me know what you think. I think I am making progress since I have been learning from him.

source

I did not take this one. Levi did, I was only below her holding the screen. But I got to help on it this last Saturday, and it was such a fun afternoon. The fall scene was such a beautiful background & Jessi had the most gorgeous eye color! She was so cute in her senior pictures. What a great time! Check out Levi's Blog.

That is all for now. I am hoping to score a sweet camera of my own this christmas, we will see! Till then enjoy these from the camera I steal sometimes when I have with drawls. These are the latest. Enjoy!

Fall, you are wonderful. Thanks for sharing your beauty with us.

Thanks to You.

Sometimes I think I say the complete wrong things at the complete wrong times.

Then I think about it and say, Chels! wtf why on earth are you talking?! Like if I could possibly think of the worst things to say at the moments where they matter most, I don't even think I could come up with worse lines then the ones I say off the top of my head haha. The only way I can get it out is if I write, because for me, I can take the time to say what I really was meaning without all the nervous flusters causing my tongue to unconsciously sabotage itself. This is it.

I can remember when I first saw you

It seemed an ordinary sunny day in my lazy apartment

I thought it was just another face

The one was gone, and it was still stinging my eyes and haunting my dreams at the time

I didn't know what you were yet

You passed by me like the warm summer wind

In and out of my hair, bringing a small comfort that couldnt be named

But for some reason when you feel it around, you remember that it is wonderful

I never saw it happening but then it was there more apparent then a speck on the lens

I was trying to get into focus and backed off an edge

I thought I would fall to my death as usual, but then only to float

I try to let the helium escape but the buoyancy is ever present.

You would think it would fade and sink like all the rest

For some reason it is still there, as much as I know it is mostly unimportant to anyone else, it continues to float.

You may say pathetic, you may hope for a pointy object to put it out of its ever floating life

but I tell you here and now

I'm glad it is dodging branches and swaying around telephone poles

It's amazing because through it I come know things that I once doubted

I know now it was not all my fault.

I know that becasue of you, there is better out there waiting for me

I know that I can find it and it will be what I really want, and not half or kind of.

You made me see that just by being you.

which I can never thank enough

can never describe how much it raises me

and can never really say it.

so know that when the sun shines on you I will be happy for you

because you pulled the blinds back when I just wished to be alone in the dimness

you let the sun in when I did not recognize I was sitting in darkness

you showed me to the window to see that I was just in a little house and it didn't have to hold me in anymore.

You took me outside to smell the blossoms and feel the pointy grass blades under my toes and to recognize the suns rays on my skin again.

you reminded me that I love, when I forgot how to care.

you made me feel happy, after a long time of feeling nothing at all.

So even if I am not anything more then a friend & errand runner to you, you removed the blindfold that I made for myself

and that means more to me then anything else I could ask for.

So, thanks I guess is what I am saying.

Thanks for your help

Thanks for your kindness

Thanks for your friendship

Thanks for showing me that I am worth all that I was told I wasn't.

Thanks for helping bring back all that had been beaten out of me.

You will always have a special place in my heart, just for being you.

Because you are wonderful.

Friendship..

Wonderful Week

I want to bare my heart a little right now because this week has been one of the most amazing in my life and I would feel a little bit ungrateful not sharing about the many blessings I have received from it.

This week I realized something. Not realizing like,

"hey thats a cool saying to think about,"

but one of those experiences where you say

"this is a really cool saying, and I remember hearing it before and thinking that, but now I have a definite testimony that it is real."

& the realization is this -

Draw near unto God and He will draw near unto you.

I had no idea how true this is until I have been putting it into action. Its crazy, a couple of weeks ago I felt fine about everything, except I knew that if i wanted to serve a mission, I needed to be prepared in the decision i was making. So, I went to bed earlier so I could read & ponder the scriptures so I would be awake, starting reading & participating in the preach my gospel lessons, and pouring my heart out in my prayers. I made a list of goals, and I have been trying to base my life on righteous principles.

I thought, maybe if I try really hard, I don't know something will happen, and I will learn something and get guidance in what is to come next in my life.

Holy heck. Really, it is crazy because it was kinda just a shot in the dark, but I feel like I am a completely changed person from just a couple of weeks. Not that I felt like I was doing bad things cuz I wasn't, but I didn't even realize how much I was missing out on. reading the BOM in my down time has blessed me so much to receive those little A HA! moments that I know are not from me, that change my perspective for so much better on daily events.

Please, I am not writing this to say how cool I am or how great so don't get it twisted. Im writing this to testify to you that if you do those things that are kinda like, things you know you probably should be just don't for one reason or another, you will get above and beyond experiences that are AMAZING!! You will draw closer to the Lord and I promise, promise, promise, Life Gets SO Much.. More. If you make the effort to draw closer to Him & take one step toward Him, he doesn't just wait for you to get to him, he will take one step closer to you too! And you will know and see it in your life that the little things you struggle with or the annoying habits that you have will seem less and less hard for you and your goals become more and more insight! I always thought "Well, this is just the way I am, and I will always be this way with the little things I struggle with," But this week I realize that Through Him you can be better then you ever thought was possible for you to be! Because He loves you, and He will help you if you ask and draw near to Him!

Anyways, maybe this is old news to you, but it is amazing to me right now. I'm so blessed to know what I know and have been born into this gospel. Its crazy. Anyways, that's all for now! Love you my friendships.

ps. Also, this if you desire.

“Draw Near unto Me”

Elder J. Thomas Fyans

Of the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy