Thanks to You.

Sometimes I think I say the complete wrong things at the complete wrong times.

Then I think about it and say, Chels! wtf why on earth are you talking?! Like if I could possibly think of the worst things to say at the moments where they matter most, I don't even think I could come up with worse lines then the ones I say off the top of my head haha. The only way I can get it out is if I write, because for me, I can take the time to say what I really was meaning without all the nervous flusters causing my tongue to unconsciously sabotage itself. This is it.

I can remember when I first saw you

It seemed an ordinary sunny day in my lazy apartment

I thought it was just another face

The one was gone, and it was still stinging my eyes and haunting my dreams at the time

I didn't know what you were yet

You passed by me like the warm summer wind

In and out of my hair, bringing a small comfort that couldnt be named

But for some reason when you feel it around, you remember that it is wonderful

I never saw it happening but then it was there more apparent then a speck on the lens

I was trying to get into focus and backed off an edge

I thought I would fall to my death as usual, but then only to float

I try to let the helium escape but the buoyancy is ever present.

You would think it would fade and sink like all the rest

For some reason it is still there, as much as I know it is mostly unimportant to anyone else, it continues to float.

You may say pathetic, you may hope for a pointy object to put it out of its ever floating life

but I tell you here and now

I'm glad it is dodging branches and swaying around telephone poles

It's amazing because through it I come know things that I once doubted

I know now it was not all my fault.

I know that becasue of you, there is better out there waiting for me

I know that I can find it and it will be what I really want, and not half or kind of.

You made me see that just by being you.

which I can never thank enough

can never describe how much it raises me

and can never really say it.

so know that when the sun shines on you I will be happy for you

because you pulled the blinds back when I just wished to be alone in the dimness

you let the sun in when I did not recognize I was sitting in darkness

you showed me to the window to see that I was just in a little house and it didn't have to hold me in anymore.

You took me outside to smell the blossoms and feel the pointy grass blades under my toes and to recognize the suns rays on my skin again.

you reminded me that I love, when I forgot how to care.

you made me feel happy, after a long time of feeling nothing at all.

So even if I am not anything more then a friend & errand runner to you, you removed the blindfold that I made for myself

and that means more to me then anything else I could ask for.

So, thanks I guess is what I am saying.

Thanks for your help

Thanks for your kindness

Thanks for your friendship

Thanks for showing me that I am worth all that I was told I wasn't.

Thanks for helping bring back all that had been beaten out of me.

You will always have a special place in my heart, just for being you.

Because you are wonderful.

Friendship..