Monday, March 29, 2010

Life's About Choices. You Decide.

Upon reading the ensign this month, I came across an article that really helped me understand a lot of things I didn't before. I hope this helps someone like it helped me. Yeah it's about marriage, but life in general too. enjoy.

April 2010 ensign :

“Making the Marriage Decision,” Ensign, Apr 2010, 20–25

"Choosing Love"

"During the two years I dated my husband, Jon, I prayed often about marrying him, but I never got an awe-inspiring answer that so many others seemed to talk about. I had heard so many of those stories that I was afraid marrying Jon wasn’t right unless I had a miraculous confirmation experience too.

I was also weighing a decision about serving a mission. I proceeded with the process of putting in my papers and met with my bishop. The bishop suggested that if I was OK with Jon marrying another girl, then I should move forward with serving a mission. If I was not OK with his being with someone else, then maybe I should reconsider.

I spent a lot of time thinking about that counsel. I knew I loved Jon, but I didn’t want to give up other good opportunities. As I was praying over the matter one day, I received the distinct impression through a feeling: “It’s your choice.” As unromantic as it may sound, that answer was exactly what I needed. Of course it had always been my choice, but this prompting reminded me that I didn’t need to wait for earth-shattering, divine intervention to tell me to marry Jon; I knew we were compatible, I knew I loved him, and I knew marrying him would be a good thing. All that was left was for me to make the choice.

I was reading my scriptures and contemplating my decision to marry, when I came across this sentence in Moroni 8:16: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”

“If it’s my choice,” I thought, “then I choose him.” It was hard to give up the opportunity of a mission, but from that moment on, I was committed, and we started planning for marriage.

I still had occasional doubts and fears, but because I had made the choice to marry Jon, I also had made the choice to help things work out. (Imagine that—having to work at a relationship!) Choosing to work at our relationship has made all the difference because as I have done so, I have felt closer to and more in love with my husband.

Marriage isn’t always easy—most worthwhile things have difficult moments. But when I come to those moments, I remember what I felt when I received that simple but powerful answer to my prayer: we choose our companions and then go to work to make those relationships meaningful throughout our lives.

It struck me that the love of two righteous people moving toward the Savior could cast out the fear of all the world’s unknowns. This experience gave me the peace I needed to move forward with the decision to marry and the courage to make changes to my educational and career path. I know that the love him and I have is not perfect, but through Jesus Christ, it can be made so.

Marie Cottle, Utah, USA


Trusting the Lord to Be My Guide

For me, getting a confirmation about my marriage was like filling a glass. Because I knew that dating and marriage were things to pray about, I pictured myself getting a “full glass” of an answer the first time I prayed. But I became confused when I went on a few dates with Karen and couldn’t figure out where to go from there. I liked her personality, but I didn’t know about her testimony or anything else. I was afraid of the relationship ending with broken hearts or anger. However, I realized I would know what to do only by spending time with her. I figured that in the end it would be a learning experience for both of us—whatever that end would be.

We eventually decided to date exclusively, but neither of us knew exactly what we wanted from the relationship and we broke up a few times because we weren’t on the same page. She had strong desires to serve a mission, and I strongly wanted to be sure of whom I should date and marry. Plus, we were both afraid of making a mistake in choosing when and whom to marry.

As I sought priesthood blessings and counsel from priesthood leaders and continued to pray, the glass continued to fill. I learned more about Karen and me—what we could work through together, what our personal weaknesses and strengths were and how they affected us, what our fears were and how we would deal with them, and how to communicate with each other. We both saw from experience that we worked well together and complemented each other. We learned of each other’s faith, testimony, opinions, and quirks. As I prayed and as my glass filled, I felt added courage to keep dating her to see what would happen. I didn’t know “for sure,” but my faith that things would work between us increased.

Over time, I realized that I truly loved Karen and wanted to spend eternity with her. When she met my family and I saw how she fit in, my glass was full. It took me a year to get to that point, but when I did, the doubt dispersed and I could see clearly. I knew I should marry her and I knew that I knew.

I’ve wondered what would have happened had I not had the faith to let the Lord guide me through my relationship with Karen. I’m glad I had the courage to move forward, even in uncertainty. Because we learned so much in our dating and during our engagement, our adjustment to marriage has been smooth, and we are extremely happy.

Tyler Heasley, California, USA


Lance B. Wickman, “Confidence Tests: From Fear to Faith in the Marriage Decision,” Ensign, Apr 2010, 12–16

"Only after applying your own judgment and good sense to the relationship after a sufficient period of time should you pray for a confirmation. Remember, like every other important decision, marriage is your choice. The Lord will expect you to exercise your judgment. As He said to Oliver Cowdery, “Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me” (D&C 9:7). Once you do your part through an appropriate courtship and make a tentative decision, have confidence that Heavenly Father will respond to your supplication.

"...Whatever the reason for the fear of the marriage decision, it leads to some fallacious thinking, to a “casting away” of one’s confidence. This, in turn, causes a person’s failure to firmly grasp his or her own responsibility for making that decision. Even if such fear doesn’t result in postponing or even avoiding marriage, it can lead to other errors. For instance, some are inclined to treat the decision as entirely a spiritual one. Shortchanging their own obligation to give due process to it, they wait for the functional equivalent of a divine finger writing an answer on the wall or for the seas to part or for some other metaphysical phenomenon that tells them without question that so-and-so is “the one.”Counsel from parents, bishops, and other worthy persons can be valuable. But at the end of the day, no one else can—or should—tell you what to do. The decision of whom to marry is an intensely personal one.

“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward!” Remember that we come into this life hardwired, so to speak, to fall in love. Don’t make it harder than it is! Remember what you know, and move forward with confidence in Heavenly Father and the standing you enjoy as His son or daughter.

"...The Lord expects you to use your own good sense. He expects you to rely on your own natural feelings of man-woman attraction planted in you from birth. Once you have been drawn to a person of the opposite sex, enjoyed a significant period of friendship—courtship—with him or her, and satisfied yourself that he or she shares your values and is someone with whom you could happily share the most intimate of relationships—then put the matter to Heavenly Father. The lack of a contrary impression to your own feelings may be His way of telling you that He has no objection to your choice."

Ps. I've had an epiphany of sorts from this.

1.
Love isn't some magic miracle. It's a choice, & if you choose it, you choose to work at it to make it happen. Simple as that. If you meet someone who strives to be close to Heavenly Father, the love with those people can work no matter who it is, as unromantic as that it is. (of course there's good, better & best, but I think it's YOUR decision of what that is for you individually)

2.You make your life how it is. Life is about you making choices and having Heavenly Father direct you to a point, but he's not going to tell you everything you should do. If you want something, don't wait for a lightening bolt sign to hit you, it's your decision, and if it is wrong heavenly father will let you know. He wont let your life go in a way that is not best for you, He loves you too much & knows the things you need to learn in your life.
I trust him with the things I can't control, but I think I need to start relying on the things I know to be true and good and not let fear or uncertainty control me like it has in the past. I love Him. & You. Let's rejoice. :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Music Is My Boyfriend.



Just re-discovering wonderful songs by downloading the contents of my library again.
Can we talk about it?


Green Eyes - Coldplay

"Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I"ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

..That green eyes, you"re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind"

The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you,Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Nobody said it was easy, It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

..Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start


(If you haven't seen wicker park, you need to. The song is in it and makes the whole movie. Come get it from me you will love it. maybe)

In My Place

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for you

If you go, if you go
Leaving me here on my own
Well I wait for you


You Could Be Happy

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world



Love this Song Recently. Makes me want to take piano lessons.

Trouble
Oh no, I see, I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,

Oh no what's this?A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,

I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.



Ben Harper - Walk Away

Oh no- here comes that sun again.
That means another day without you my friend.
And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself.
And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.

And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away.

With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?
But you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun.

And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.

We've tried the goodbye so many days.
We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray.
They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free,
but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery.
They say time will make all this go away,
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.
And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down
And once again, you my friend, are nowhere to be found

Coldplay is under rated. So talented lyrically and musically. Please listen to more music that makes you feel alive. Eat more chocolate. Love the people you love and make sure they know it. Run in the grass barefoot, eat mango's before they go out of season, & bask in the everyday things you enjoy, really suck all the good out of them that you can. Spring is coming fast, so let's dream about Summer. love you.





Thursday, March 25, 2010

Just life stuff, that's all.

One of my biggest faults is that sometimes I don't appreciate the good things in my life until they are gone. This is why I want to acknowledge all that is good to me right now & what was once good to me in the past.

(1. Palm Pre. I miss you. I got mad at you when you didn't work for ten seconds but now I realize how good you were to me. You are on a new journey now, God speed little guy. I miss you everyday.

2. new drivers license picture.. I didn't really like my old one but at least it didn't make me look like I lie about my weight in it. shudder.

3. My car blew up. started smoking everywhere. now I can't drive it. sorry little civic i hope i can take care of you soon.

4. I have 7 songs on my comp. I am kinda getting sick of the 300 guys I have left on my shuffle. Why does technology hate me???? FRIENDSHIP PLEASE!! )

OKAY LET'S BE HAPPY OKAY FRIENDS??

1. I have a new phone. It gets the job done.
2. I have a fat tax return coming so I can pay to get my car fixed.
3. I got a cute easter package from my mom in the mail. She loves me :)
4. I can hide my drivers license pic in my wallet right?
5. It's getting warmer outside so I can start walking places therefore save on gas money..
6. I love the little songs I have in my itunes lib, cuz I have only downloaded my must haves.

Ex. -
Eet, Blue Lips & Better - Regina
Feels like Home - Chantel ksfsdhfsj
Plastic Beach - Gorillaz
Feel My Love - Adele
American Honey - Lady Antebellum
The Dress Looks Nice on You - Sufjan Stevens

& My latest favorite:
Love Song - Miranda Lambert
"I was standing there crying in the kitchen,
It's been one of those mornings that's gonna last all day,
And he comes in and wraps his arms around me,
And I don't even have to say a thing.
That's what makes it love"


Also this, people can tell when you take them for granted too, you know? Even if you think they can't or that you don't need to treat them a certain way because maybe they have done something to you in the past. But people all have the same feelings, worth and needs ( for the most part). When you don't care enough to ask about THEM or talk about things you know they need someone to listen to, it's annoying. When you are blinded by selfishness, it always comes back to you. Just saying. Everyone deserves to be treated well.

Sometimes I just don't know one thing. I wish I did, life would be a whole lot easier if you had all the answers right?

Life is life. Shiz is always gonna happen. Just gotta find the little things not take them for granted as best you can & hold the eff onto them.



Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring Break New Knowledge


Hi, just got back from Spring Break.

Losses -

Phone - ( social life, 300$, organizer, alarm clock, the more I count the more depressed I get..)
Ipod - ( All my music as well since my comp blew up last week, so feel free to donate your library.. Probably 150$ I'm out and 150 to buy a new one.. but don't worry the robber so kindly detached my headphones and graciously left them for me.. fagget)
Drivers License - (who needs them anyway? hopefully i wont have to take the test again to get another one cuz I will most likely fail)
Pillow - meh hopefully I will get it back one day.
Blanket - one of my favorites, mehhhh


Gains -

Friendships - Sweepstaaakkkessss
People in this world really are kind and generous. I gottaken care of more there then I have in a long time by complete strangers. People are mostly good. That's all.
New Experiences/Knowlegdge:

1. Going to California
2. Eating new foods such as Frozen Bananas at Venice Beach, Fish Tacos after playing with starfish on the warf, getting fresh California rolls in California @ the Farmers Market, and getting delicious Pinkberry in Santa Barbara. (If you couldn't tell, the food was pretty much one of my favorite parts of the trip nbd)

3. Seeing so many different kinds of people in one place. Listen ya'll I'm from Idaho and all we really have are white folks & Hispanics. Not really any bums, not very many asians, some granola people but never kids out of the street advertising legal weed. So crazy. So many different people everywhere you go.. mainly in Venice beach & LA (tranny mermaids, bums of all shapes & sizes & people who will sell & do the weirdest things for a couple of dollars) Kinda eye opening..

3.5 Going to Disneyland!! I've been to Disney World but this trip opened my eyes to Toy Story & the Wild Rapids one in California Adventure & the Alice in Wonderland ride! Loved the Pirates one too cuz when I went to DWorld 5 years ago it was closed for remodeling. The only thing I missed out on was Indiana Jones which I hear is the best one but, ignorance is bliss right? I stand firm now more then ever before that indeed I, Chelsea Lynn, want to honeymoon at Disney. Also this I got pictures with goofy, pluto, Andy & almost mickey but we could'nt stop (not my choice I was forced!!) Pretty sure seeing them almost made me pee my pants, and Im pretty sure I will get as excited even when im forty and taking my kids there..
4. There really are people in the world that will steal your shiz. I always knew they were out there I guess, but it's never really happened to me. I feel bad that they have a life that they feel like that's what they need to do or that that is okay to do. Well, I learned to keep all your shiz locked, and close to you at all times when you leave UT/ID. Also this no disrespect but I officially hate the vegas strip. What a perverted sick nasty place. I can stand it for about 3 days but after that.. barf!

5. Shopping. Vegas, LA, Venice, Malibu, Chinatown, Santa Barbara?? Why don't I live there? Oh yeah cuz I would have no money to pay the rediculous rent and become a bum in H&M. First time visits include : H&M, American Apparel, ZARAS!!, Swap Meet in Fairbanks, Free People, Betsy Johnson (barf), Tillys, Juicy Couture, & the sweetest little shops all around including Chinatown & Santa Barbara Main Street. (Hi, yes I am now very poor, it's fine.)

Also these realization came to me this week:

I want a house in Malibu. (Stop laughing it could happen! You don't even know!)

Why don't I have a camera? Biggest regret was not being able to take pics there. Guess I'll have to go back!

Surfing is hot, don't really care what you look like.

California is as chill as it is made out to be, but not as glam. Who in their right mind would pay 7 dollars for a water bottle? Give me a break. That's All.

I love making new friends, and I loved it this trip. Would have loved to travel with one of my friends too just in case though, I took a risk and it worked out good, but any longer and I could have seen it go really awkward, really quickly haha.

California was so great, but I came to the realization on this trip that I might have caught the Paul Jones disease. You know the one where when you don't go hiking or climbing or flying giant kites for too long & then you get antsy and feel like you need to cliff jump or parkour off of everything under ten feet, yep that one. I realized this when I got sick of shopping (gasp I know) & I saw windsurfing and almost asked him if he could teach me how. Oh man what have I become?!

Overall it was a great trip and it was weird that I learned of so many things in such a short amount of time! I love traveling because of this and am determined to get out of UT again at least for a while this summer. Favorite discovery of the trip though :


I have never really been a huge Gorillaz fan, but I got to hear a lot of their new album this past week and it was really great. Sweepstakes!! Okay not really that song but its a good album so check it out.

Now I'm back in Logan to my life and honestly I missed it! I'm excited to get back to school and my friends and pick up the pieces of my stolen stuff haha I'm still gonna pray for warm weather though :) hope you all had a safe & gnar spring break!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Hi, I'm No Longer Homeless!


So many great things have happened this week/weekend! Want to hear about them? Oh, okay if you insist!!

first & foremost - WE'RE NOT HOMELESS!!

YaY! We found a house & it is so great! 8 Bedrooms. (Yeah.. pray for us.)
Just kidding it will be an adventure! I'm sharing a room with one of my favorite friends named Megan Thomas. Please help us. Yep already planning on how to decorate our room.. Paint Time!

It's a perfect location, right next to the bus stop & right under Old Main Hill. I am so happy. We didn't get screwed, like the four before us! The house is seriously so great! I want to paint my room, or maybe even dare I say mural? Maybe, if megan trusts me enough :) So excited to live with my friends too!! This is the first year I am planning to live with people I know.. ahah it's kinda a load off. But I am excited to live with new friends too.

Also this >>>> SPRING BREAK IN CALI IN 5 DAYS & COUNTING!!






Yay Disneyland! so excited!!

What I am most excited for though is this >>














































Hi Balboa here I come. Please give me ten frozen bananas taht look like this ^^^ So freaking pumped!!! Let's get tan and lay in the sun half nakey please and be warm! Break out my swim suits! Wooo!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Ouch.


I forgot that usually when you break up with someone, you usually start dating other people.

(don't you love it when your ex moves on faster than you? Meanwhile you still have no desire to date beyond all reason. & your mind says "really? that's it?")

Kinda something I maybe should have realized and dealt with a while ago.
I guess I thought I would have more time.
Well, it was great being friends.



Anyways, not being a downer, my life is great.
Got to wear my houndstooth shorts today, that was fun.
I am blessed
& I love my friends & roommates & family.
woop
Peace & blessings.

Ps. Thanks Peyton Sawyer for the artwork, get a life please.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Can You Teach Me How to Jerk?

I have so many things I would love to share. I love a lot of things at this time so here is my loving the future because of these things in my life, blog.

Can we say all together now - SPRING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is happening. This week is supposed to be all in the upper thirties.
Watch out!
According to the Accuweather app on my phone next weekend is supposed to get to 52!! (yes I looked two weeks in advance, I'm a little excited.)


Also this, spring break.

The possibilities are endless where I will find myself!! Please be someplace warm!!
(Oh wait the possibilities are limited to everywhere but Hawaii. I guess people can't control themselves or the people that they flirt/hookup with on the island of Oahu, so I better steer clear. )

life + love = color
I'm excited to start seeing colors again!!! Wearing more colors & seeing more natural colors outside instead of murky gray snow and brown dead leaves. Woop!! for more on this visit herrrr if you desire.


Music.
once upon a time my computer decided that it hated me and that it was going to delete everything to take revenge on my life. I have recently came to the realization that my music is one of my most valued commodities. I live it every day, and i love having it at least stored on my ipod. However, I can not sync any new songs to it therefore making me kindof feel like i am no longer progressing in life. okay a little dramatic but try it, you will have a hard time. Here is some tunes i would like to share as my current faves ( even though they are not in my pod.)
1. How Low Can You Go - LUUUDA
(if you don't know this we need to catch up)
2. The Shanghai Shuffle - Mochipet
4. Teach Me How to Jerk - Audio Push
5. Artsy- Living Legends

Yep. They're great. Love it. Have any suggestions? please let me know, I love all music.

Rock Haus.
yep. I purchased a pass about two weeks ago and I love the freedom of just walking in and scanning my key chain deal. watch out I'm legit.. (ha ha not) but the other day, while climbing on a 5.7+ my mind was so clear and at peace. It was insane, it was like meditation or something. I didn't have one thought the entire time and it was like while I was climbing, I was poised for one second in my life. Weird! Also after I climbed a legit 5.9- (!!!) and cheated a baby bit accidentally on a 5.9 legit status. Hopefully tomorrow I can go when I'm not so pumped and kill it. Love climbing.
Elections


Get it Yet? Vote Britt Ingalls, duh. She will probably make your life.
go vote herrrre



Just flash mobbing. Yep it's pretty much the best idea for elections ever, oh and Brittany is a genius. Vote for her. Watch the sweet flash mob video.


House, pretty please.

Well, we still haven't found a house yet, but we have two wonderful prospects. One of which is located on temple boulevard. (uhmmm yes) The other is located on the other side of the street from the bus stop. ( no more walking up a disgustingly good exercis - ish hill. barf.) Please, I just don't want to be homeless next year. That's all. So, hopefully i will find one of these soon as my new home :)

Summer.

I am most likely staying in Logan with my great friends. Yes. So pumped. There is a possibility that something else could happen even though I am not getting my hopes up or trying to even talk about it.. but I mean right now it is a possibility, maybe. more to come on that if it works out and all my dreams come true.

That is all. So excited for the next few months and all the adventures they will bring! woop!