Dear Life, Thanks for Everything.

Sometimes life catches you off guard. Throws you a fast one and in an instant your outlook or mood is completely changed. It's amazing how important things in your life, can give you huge, sometimes almost physical reactions. A well written song can pierce your heart or a familiar smell can instantly bring a thousand memories to flush back to you.

This is life. You live it and the world is what you remember from it. Sometimes in life you see people who are a part of you only from memories. I had the opportunity to see my friend who just returned from a mission and it was an odd feeling to see my friend revived from my memories. He was exactly the same but his life has changed too, and now I am back from his memories too. It is always interesting how we as individuals forget that everyone's life evolves and changes even if we aren't a part of it. It's weird to hear that they have changed and grown jsut as much as I feel like I have only in a completely different state of mind. I guess that is why I hate going home, because I always see the closest people to me change and have experiences that don't include mine anymore. (selfish I know, hate me for it.)

I've realized recently that I am not like many other people in this area. Sometimes, I feel a deep connection to people I hardly know.. like Last.. Wednesday I want to say? I went to a friend of a friends funeral, kinda just for moral support at first. It was really hard but good at the same time. It is weird, recently as I have been drawing closer to the spirit, I kinda have this 6th sense that I know and have a deep love for random strangers. The boy who died was one of them. I felt like I knew him for some reason.. and I felt like we were once close friends, and like that he was my brother. crazy.

It is amazing how safe and gaurded we as members are by living right and how many blessings come that we have no idea about just because Heavenly Father is watching over us. Like that step you missed that could've made you trip down the stairs, or that instant you just happened to look up and realized a semi was merging into you, or when you feel like you need to go a different way home by following a prompting and never find out why. All you know is that you got home safe in your bed. It's crazy, I can't wait for Him to show me all the times he saved me like those crazy youtube videos where people escape being hit by buses by inches by some miracle.

I have learned that life is a miracle everyday and not necessarily in a physical manner of life or death. Sometimes, we don't see these live saving miracles because they are disguised by what we see as trials, mistakes, or events that happen to us that to the world seem bad. But maybe our trials, though seemingly hard for us at one time or another, are really tender mercies. For me, I know the knowledge that I have about life, people, and Heavenly Father have not just come from the air. They came from trials, crazy events, and experiences that seemed very unpleasant. But I would never trade my knowledge of how to be kind, or how to help someone who might be in a similar situation as I once was, or of Heavenly Fathers love for anything. It's amazing to me that even though the world sees bad events as just that, it is almost a mercy that He gives us that we are complaining about. He is blessing us with knowledge that he gives freely but because of the wrapping, we are ungrateful and get angry at Him for it. I know this is easier said then done, but it is a huge goal of mine to take every experience given to me and take what I can to learn from it no matter how it is presented to me, and be grateful that I am still here, surrounded by people who love me and that I have the opportunity to continue to learn and grow with them. In turn being able to use the knowledge given to me to help those around me who are confused and wanting help from someone who understands.

I might be rambling, and it might be a no brainer to everyone else, but knowledge is a gift. A gift that is given to us freely and lovingly. It seems crazy to be angry at He who gives it to us when he is only wanting to bless us, and still gives it to us knowing that we will hate him for it. What an amazing, loving, patient, Father we have. I know I do not deserve all that he does for me, but I am trying harder everyday to become that person one day in the far far off future :)

Anyways, just some of the many thoughts that have been bouncing around in my little head. Hope they meant something and weren't just letters strung together for you. Have a wonderful day & know that someone loves you for everything you are.