Life in quotes, as of late.

I refuse to give up. 

I refuse to settle. 

I refuse to be comfortable. 

I refuse to digress. 

I will never give up because you will never give up on me. 

Here's to the battle, going at it everyday, doing your very best and realizing the Lord is with you even before you asked him to be.

Hope everyone had a wonderful SpanksGiving. Let's get on with it.

Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues by subpop

making decisions is hard.

I'm running out of reasons. Seriously every day something happens to push me in that direction.

and then the next day something else happens to sway me in the other.

When I run out of reasons, does that mean it's time to make a decision ?

It's my decision. That's all I get. Just tell me what to do and i'll do it. that's what I want. haha 

I know I still have my agency, but at this rate it seems like just a matter of time for that too. :)

Here I go. Just deciding my entire life path.

coin flip anyone?!

- small confession - 
The future is my greatest fear.

Cheers to those of you who have it figured out.

how did you do it?

Faith is the absence of fear.

repeat.

repeat.

repeat.

repeat.

I realized today that I'm somewhat of a creep

Awkward trying to be a better woman of Zon episodes:

Examples -

-Yelling to strangers if they want a ride up to campus/to church on my way. ( Just trying to look out for my peeps, if I was walking in the cold I would want to make a new friend and get a ride..)

- saying hello slash smiling or complimenting passer bys (I'm not trying to get you to tell me your social security number, I just want you to have a good day, sheesh.)

- Listening to church music not on Sunday ( at sushi night - "you must be having a hard time, I see you listening to mormon music all the time on spotify." me- "well I actually just kinda like it.. anytime.. it's really nice..")I listen to other things too, jsut sometimes nothing else seems good to me okay, lay off!

- when the teacher asks you to read a page from the book you are reading & all the sudden it talks about repentance and Heavenly Father.. the whole class goes silent.. & then the whole My names Chelsea, & im a mormon in a liberal's class creepy feeling happens, any further discussion has been killed, not what the teacher wanted, everyone feels awkward, next topic.

- asking that boy about the brother of jared doctrinal questions & all the sudden he gets that "oh, your that kind of girl" look on his face and promptly moves on to the girl sitting next to me for the rest of the night.. i guess doctrine isnt the best pick up line, but I just have questions..

- The conversation dies and becomes dry because calling her gross, slutty, and trashy isn't really my thing ( no matter how much those things are true haha let's be honest ) sorry to hault our stimulating conversation or potential bonding time.. but that's just not something I want to encourage. (maybe she got attacked by a dog who ate her outfit?? )

Maybe I should just turn into a sister missionary and be done with it.. I feel like if I had a name tag to justify/explain the things that I do then I would be more accepted.. haha but really.

But..and the end of the day I guess I like being peculiar. Even though some things may not be socially acceptable now.. hopefully they help someone feel loved at least after the creepiness subsides.

from now on you may address me as creep status chels. cool, thanks. ps. let me know if I can give you a ride to class after. :)