Who is this girl?

I am the girl who doesn't make plans anymore, only trusts.

I am the girl who loves shopping, but has my eyes on bigger things. 

I'm the girl who grocery shops slowly still, but by myself now. 

(It took me about 20 min and 2 prayers to make myself get out of the car and about 3 spurts of legit rolling tears behind my sunglasses.. but the Lord reminded me that I am not really alone, that he will never leave me, and when a mom put her little ones in their car seats next to me, he reminded me of what I most want, and that this was a step I needed to do.  I said "okay, lets go. we can do this," & We did it. It wasn't easy passing all the things he loves and the things we said "hey soon we will only have to buy one of these.." but I did it none the less, and I'm one step closer now to being okay again.)  

I am that girl who has pain behind her smile, but smiles nonetheless in hopes of one day it turning into wisdom. 

I'm that girl who is distracted in every situation, who's mind is constantly somewhere else it seems. 

I'm the girl who mourns with those who mourn, and cries with those who cry, because I know the place all too well. 

I am the girl who knows this could be right, but the choice is in anothers hands. 

I'm the girl who no longer demands perfection.

I'm the girl who knows what I need to do & where I am headed. 

I'm the girl who sees the things that weren't important to fuss over and regrets not being able to make it right. 

I am the girl who tries to see past simple mistakes now. 

I'm the girl who's heart breaks when she sees families together. Little children are precious to me, and darling families are the source of my greatest envy, because it is my greatest desire. And I have made promises to the Lord to never let anything get in the way of that. 

I'm the girl who's standards aren't going to change just because my circumstances have. I am still preparing to enter the temple for reals and dress accordingly. 

I'm the girl who looks at the positive and is grateful for trials, but still has hard times too. 

I am the girl who knows how to react to trials in life now. 

I am that girl who has an unwaivering love with Him now. 

I'm the girl He is developing into the woman he knows I am. 

I'm the girl who is disconnected from the world and doesn't mind one bit. 

I'm the girl who's goals are known, worked for, and believed in now. 

I am the girl who appreciates beauty in the simple things. 

I'm the girl who ponders life too much probably.
I am the girl who leans on the Lords guidance but also knows when to act & make decisions. 

I'm the girl who's greatest desire now is to be a woman He knows he can trust through any trial or difficulty, & for him to know I will trust him and never lose faith. 

I am the girl who has developed faith. Faith like a redwood whose roots run strong. That no storm, person, problem can break. I WILL NEVER LOSE THIS FAITH. NOTHING AND NO ONE CAN TAKE IT FROM ME. and that is something I will never regret about this time. 

I'm the girl who may come to rough roads but will always press forward in the right direction. 

I'm the girl who has found the way to true happiness through a choking wave of sadness. 

I'm the girl who deserves to be fought for, to not be given up on and shut off to, to be uplifted by the people that love me, not abandoned when found imperfect.

his blog did give me a fair warning about 6 months ago, wish I would've listened to that post more now.. 

I am the girl who is left with the hope that one day the choices of the person I love will bring more happiness then pain. 

I am the girl who knows my divine worth now.
I am the girl who knows the greatest desires of my heart, and knows now how to align my actions to get there, and knows without a doubt I will.

And I am the girl who has been shown myself there, with the person who cannot fathom it being any other way.  The choice to act by fear, to give up, to leave & shun me & walk away from everything when discovering imperfections, will not be an option to them in the end, whoever it may be.

I'm the girl who loves though, who loves deeply and fully, with her whole heart, and that is something nothing or no one can beat out of me. 

Until then, 

I am the girl who knows she has been given a new heart then she had just 3 weeks ago

I am the girl that has a surety & a strength that I have never had before

I am the girl who knows she will be okay & she will find happiness again.
I am the girl who has faith that either way that Heavenly Father will make things work out.
I am the girl who is eternally grateful for this time to have learned necessary lessons for the happiness of me & my future family.
I am the girl who has been greatly blessed by the Lord now & forever to have this gospel to make this growth possible.

I am the girl who is moving forward, with a new heart, a greater understanding, and an unwaivering faith in myself and my future through serving the Lord. I know I will receive the same blessings, just at another time & with another someone. 

For now, I am just grateful to be continually learning.