Teach Me.

My name is Chelsea.

When I love, I love with my whole heart.

I don't know if that is something that is appealing or challenging enough.

But I know when it's right, it will be the cause of my greatest & most full joy.

Because my family will never wonder if anyone cares

This also causes me to hurt sometimes, but I love nonetheless.

Because I want those who I love to know and feel it and never forget it.

I love deeply, live risky, and soak up happiness wholly.

So in the end I know the ones who meant most to me will not feel so alone.

Because they will always know my love for them is never ending.

I hope those who are reading this know

That you are loved. Dearly.

To me you are truly my brothers and sisters

And I have a greater empathy for your pains now.

And I want you to know that the Lord feels them with you too

Sitting next to you on the floor 

As you finally fall to pieces after holding it back for too long

after trying so hard every minute to be strong in faith
but you really don't see how you could be okay again

He's there

Holding you

Crying with you

Knowing your pain

All the while telling you He knows.

And that He is here,

next to you,

crying with you
and he'll stay here & hold you 

until you can't cry anymore

and your heart aches surpirsingly without end

and he knows you just want to do whats right

but the pain seems to be beating you mercilessly 

and you can't see a way out
and you feel like your spirit is giving up
and you don't even know why any of this had to happen in the first place

and you just can't be strong anymore right now

and you have nothing left to give.

He knows.

Then when your done and out of tissues and exhausted

 you see that he is still there, he never left you

and you see that you have to push through this
You have to just keep going

and he will lift you

and you might just get through it, 

only if he is with you though

& you know you wont have to do it alone

and you will get up.

If anything He will stand you up, and take your hand
and you will go make yourself something to eat
and feed your fish
and he will tell you that he is here

and promise you that you will be okay.

& for the first time you believe it.

& the light will increase

& your hopelessness will slowly drift away

& you will be delivered into some form of however contentment you could be

from a place you originally never saw a way out of
but you know for today now you will be okay.
tomorrow's a different story
but you will get through today
and that in of itself is a miracle.

He is there. Always. Never ending.

Please never forget this or doubt.

He will guide you when your lost

He will bring you to Him

And you will know He is really your Father.

Sometimes He will send you heavenly angels to tell you that they are all pulling for you up there.

He will give you direction if you attend the temple and listen

He will give you hope when you can't ever see it getting better

He will show you the things you didn't even know you weren't doing to make you better now

He will love you until you cant bear to feel it anymore because it is too strong

He will rescue you.

I promise you He will. in his time, in his way.

All you have to do is ask, having faith that he will come and humbling yourself to just ask.

I used to think that I understood peoples feelings well.

Now I know even better because this has given me a greater compassion for love & to understand hurt.

I tell you here and now.

You will be okay. 

In anything and everything

If you just ask.
& have faith that He will.

So this passed week I got yet another blessing :)

I've come to enjoy them..

The craziest thing is that the possibilities are endless right now..

And that I cried happy tears today..

Because I woke up out of the darkness, out of the wondering, out of my own torture.

And I was taught a lot of things even today! I feel like it will just keep coming and coming and I'm so stoked for it! I want more than anything right now for the Lord to continually teach me.

I  didn't realize how distant I really was before. The absence of desiring to do service,  to fulfill my callings, to take care of my fellowman, a desiring to be better or filling my life with good things & not just getting by.. it's not right & I have no idea how I could have been content with it.

I never want to be that person who just gets by. Because the people around me deserve better and I need to be the Lords hands here, and I will always regret not being better for them in the past. But all I can do now is move forward and push through the madness of life with a new found eternal perspective.

 But I have a better understanding of not just banking on having righteous desires, but putting them into actions. Lots & lots of actions!

And the weird thing is that I REALLY want to do them! And their like.. almost easy to do for me now..because I want to do them. Not for me, but for the benefit of having the Lord in peoples lives.

The Lord rescued me.

From a lot of crazy things, things I probably couldn't imagine. & I know he will do the same for you. The least I can do is everything I can for Him And I'm glad to do it!

I have a lot to do! And I'm so excited to learn & apply it to my life.
I'm  really becoming the person I've always wanted to be and never thought I could.
In the Lord all things are possible.



Radical Face - Welcome Home by thomas_music