Shall the youth of Zion falter
In defending truth and right?
While the enemy assaileth,
Shall we shrink or shun the fight?
This song plays in my head a lot lately. Around me I have a lot of people that I once called my rocks, well they have started to falter. I worry everyday because the process is as clear as day to see happening except to themselves. I've been affected by it a lot recently because it has caused me to question a little myself to be quite honest. Then it caused me to remember and be renewed myself in what I am so grateful to know of a surety. All I can say is that I'm praying real hard for the people I love right now, and I hope that counts for something.
It's really crazy how temptation and doubt are no respecter of persons, and in turn confuse you to the point of forgetting altogether what you once were immovable in. I absolutely was elated by the talks in conference about the church and their history and the value of women and so many uplifting beautiful encouraging words. The church leaders are moving forward in a good direction, I feel like the amount of compassion being taught is increasing for our members, and I'm excited for the direction it's headed.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to potentially become endowed recently. It became very obvious to me and the people who lead my ward that it was time. I'm still deciding whether or not I'm ready but taking a prep class to be able to enter into the house of The Lord when I see it fit. I know this is not a coincidence that I'm doing this in the midst of some of my closest friends moving further in the other direction, and I know I haven't ever been this prepared as I am now to make such a big commitment. I'm so excited and terrified but also feel a warm sense that it will be the best thing to progress in my relationship with my best friend, my constant companion, the person who gets all my jokes, the only person who knows every corner of my heart & the person who fills every role that is empty in my life, my Father in Heaven. I can't wait to give my heart to this.
In the end I just want to say that I don't want to be sheepish in my beliefs. Be true to the faith you do have as elder Holland says. I don't want to be bashful about it. Yes, there are some things I don't have a perfect understanding of or have an appreciation for of past events, but I do have an understanding of my relationship with The Lord, and nothing can really diminish that. Nothing can separate you from the love of God. Please stay true to him throughout working through your personal trials and doubts. If you genuinely seek him, he will never dismiss what's important to you or leave you in the dark. It is through him that truth is obtained.
& I just want to say that I am grateful for the good examples around me. Even when you don't say anything I feel your strength and mine is renewed. Please know that you are appreciated.
Here are some of the talks I most enjoyed from this last session of conference, if you are interested.
The Moral Force of Women
Come, Join with Us
Like a Broken Vessel
